Alright famous football New Years Resolution:

1.)Carlos Tevez- to stay at Man City and continue leeching off their money, or move to another team to leech off their money

2.)Zlatan Ibrohimovic- wants to make his book “I am Zlatan” as an official holy scripture

3.) Cristiano Ronaldo- learn how to spontaneously combust a specific unnamed player so he can finally be the best in the world  (a pretty messi tactic but what can you do…)

4.)David Silva- wants to get a couple of centimeters shorter to finally fit into the “false 9” role in the Spanish NT

5.)Gareth Bale- learn Spanish for his “imminent move” to Barcelona

6.)Alexis Sanchez- wants to become a stand-up comedian so his team can understand his jokes better

7.)Xavi Hernandez-wants to move his head like an owl to truly have 360 degree view of the pitch

8.)Mario Balotelli- promises Mancini he will take Xanax (*fingers crossed*) to keep MCFC’s PR team form quitting

9.)van Persie- to convince himself that loyalty to a team is more important than titles

10.)Lionel Messi- to keep playing football in hopes for more lollipops from Pep

If you *hear* more, please share =)